


i'm not gonna fade as soon as you close your eyes, and you know it.

by sapphire2309



Category: White Collar
Genre: Gen, a hint of suicidal ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-05-25 07:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6185872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphire2309/pseuds/sapphire2309
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the Music is my Boyfriend meme for veleda-k<br/><b>Disclaimer:</b> White Collar is Jeff Eastin's brainchild. Not mine.</p>
    </blockquote>





	i'm not gonna fade as soon as you close your eyes, and you know it.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Music is my Boyfriend meme for veleda-k  
>  **Disclaimer:** White Collar is Jeff Eastin's brainchild. Not mine.

Somewhere along the line, Rachel gave her entire self to this con.

No, that's probably not accurate. Rachel Turner, as a person, doesn't have much of a self. She's just an outline in pencil, easily redefined as it suits her purposes. It's Rebecca who became too real, too much of a person by herself. She's fallen in love before, as many different people, in many different circumstances. No one she's ever been has ever loved as hard as Rebecca loved Neal. As Rachel loves Neal.

The con became too real. Added delicate but permanent penstrokes to her once malleable outline, marks that even she didn't notice till she tried to shed Rebecca and discovered that she couldn't quite manage it. 

She needs to be able to treat Neal as a disposable tool. She's had him in her crosshairs, with her finger on the trigger, ready to shoot clean through his arm. But at the last moment, she shifted the rifle just a little, just enough. In that moment, she was Rebecca. Or as close to her true self as she's ever been. She'll never know.

Rebecca's her living nightmare. A sliver of sunbeam chasing at her heels, only more substantial. And it's the last thing she can afford, because she's so close to the treasure of a lifetime.

All she can do is work around her and hope blindly that when the time comes, she's desperate enough to get her diamond that she takes the shot without thinking too much.

She's never put too much stock in vain hopes. 

But, whatever happens, it's more than likely that she'll live.

If she wants to.


End file.
